April 2012
5 posts
cue sultry saxophone
Anonymous asked helpymchelperson:
Hi Helpy McHelperson. What happened to your glasses to bend them out of shape?
They’re not bad, they’re just drawn that way.
radio-tag your dreams, it makes following them...
Anonymous asked helpymchelperson:
When people ask me what I want to do in life, I never know what to answer them. How do I develop hopes and dreams, Helpy?
Hydroquinone, mostly.
Your problem has become widespread of late, simply because of the Earth’s burgeoning population. As you are doubtless aware, the total amount of hope in the world is reasonably constant, as are the total...
kipling has finally met his match
Anonymous asked:
Helpy, why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
Well, no. They carry them. Consider that, outside of fairy tales, you never see a hen carrying a basket. With neither baskets nor opposable thumbs, hens can hardly be expected to carry their own eggs! In fact, rabbits carrying eggs are a new thing; prior to 1927, rabbits did not carry eggs. However, a...
now i know why cutoffs were invented
Anonymous asked:
Helpy, it’s too hot for jeans, and too cold for shorts. What do?
Cutoff jeans, of course!
Now, on April 1st, Helpy would have let that answer slide, but we are back in the serious part of the year, so Helpy must admit that, in fact, this is not at all accurate. Cutoff jeans are in fact a solution to a completely different problem; that of rising hemlines. Jeans are...
it's the realism that gets to me
multiverseman asked helpymchelperson:
I am thinking of creating an open source version of the popular game called Angry Birds but with babies replacing the birds. What creature should I use to replace the pigs? Do you think there is a large market for such a game in western culture or should I focus on the frustrated tiger moms of the east?
Pretty sure everyone who has ever encountered a baby...